An Apology.

You know, it used to take a lot to get me angry. Someone would literally have to be standing on my neck before I’d respond in kind. Then one day, I was introduced to the internet, and I’ve been flipping tables ever since.

With that said, I apologize for raging out, Maria Lloyd. I let my emotions get the best of me. I blew up your mentions on Twitter. I said your essay was “irresponsible, irrelevant, and incorrect.” I suggested that you pursue another profession. I said that shaming single mothers for page hits under the guise of fake concern was the equivalent of shitting in someone’s mouth, You Tubing it, and asking for a tip after. Before I came for your neck, I went after your colleague (and co-writer of this post), Dr. Boyce Watkins, calling him a “misogynistic, foot-shuffling moron” for pimping black pathology porn. I also called him a “bully, a fraud, and a hack” and laughed when someone said he was “a doctor of fuck shit and Crown Royal bags.” I feel awful because that’s an insult to real doctors of fuck shit and Crown Royal bags. And I really shouldn’t have told you to seek another profession because we need people like you, Dr. Watkins, and other professional black pathology pimps (Hi, Jason Whitlock!) to be shining examples of what not to do.

It’s important, Maria Lloyd, that you remain here on the front lines, parroting patriarchal bullshit like “ERMAGERD THE BLACK FAMILY IS IN SHAMBLES BECAUSE YOU’RE A FILTHY WHORE” because that’s what we need. We don’t need better policies that ensure the success of Ms. Fields or women like her. We don’t need to offer genuine support. No, no. We just need to berate them for not keeping their legs closed to all the wrong dudes. I’m sure you’ve made ALL the right decisions to make sure you never become a single mom, right? Wait, I shouldn’t be so presumptuous; you and Dr. Crown Royal Bag are better at being presumptuous windbags than I can ever hope to be.

I would point to recent statistics showing that black motherhood is actually on the decline and that “unmarried” doesn’t necessarily mean “unpartnered” because there are plenty of queer black moms out here in healthy relationships. I would even point to the numerous studies showing that economics–not marital status–is to blame for the number of black moms living in poverty. But who needs all those pesky facts when you’ve got a forum to promote? “A Politically Incorrect Conversation About Saving Our Community?” Oooh. So edgy. I’m sure it’ll make Sean Hannity cream in his Jockeys.

So, I thank you–both of you–for making me realize just how important it is to stand up and use my voice. Thank you for reminding me of how valuable people like Tanya Fields and Melissa Harris Perry are, because while you are wasting bandwidth and keystrokes to attack them, they’re out here changing fucking LIVES. They are doing the work you think you’re doing. Thank you for making Hood Feminism necessary.

Also, when we say #openseasononblackgirlsisover? We mean it. Don’t come for us unless we send for you.


  1. Jasmine · November 19, 2013

    Had me worried for a second. I’m so glad this took the turn that I hoped it would. As always, right on!

  2. Pingback: An Apology. | hoodfeminism | Corner Store Press
  3. Maxine Shaw (@MaxineShawEsq) · November 20, 2013

    Where is my “searching the jungle for a fuck to give” gif when I need it? I used to give Dr. Crown the benefit of the doubt, but he made me regret that pretty quickly.

  4. moyazb · November 20, 2013

    Go off!!!

  5. somuchbraver · December 3, 2013

    Can I put your first sentence on my facebook? I promise to link back, this whole this is just so brilliant I can’t stand it.

  6. KhadijahOnline · December 20, 2013

    Great post. That post that they co-authored is awful in every sense. A “pathology pimp” is such an apt term.

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